Never. Give. Up.

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The ridiculously happy little chap on the left with his coach is my youngest boy, Isaac (AKA Sharkbait) and the look that you see on his face is reserved for three types of people in his life. Those that either teach football, feed him Nutella or buy him V-Bucks.

On the right, is Peter Jones of Dragons Den, trying his absolute best to make sense of whatever shite was leaving my mouth at that given moment. You could be forgiven for questioning where the link between the two may lie.

So, the first one is easy. I love being a Dad, even on the days when my face clearly disagrees.

I’ve always loved the beautiful simplicity of what makes children happy and their absolute intolerance for anything that makes them sad. You could argue, I’m still one of them but with the beard of an evil overlord.

As they start to venture out into the world, the more they experience, they inevitably encounter the first of life’s ‘knocks and set-backs’ and nobody can prepare you for that shit.

Earlier this year, Sharkbait won ‘Most Improved Player’ for his team and he thoroughly deserved it. He went from being too shy to even go onto the pitch, to someone who put his absolute guts into every chance he was given. It was without doubt, one of my proudest moments as a Dad and if I’m being honest, I almost dry-humped Lee, the Head Coach’s leg when he announced his name.

The summer came and went, the next season arrived, and without any warning signs, my little boy just crashed. He quite literally disappeared straight back into his shell. Nobody knew why, least of all him or me. He just regressed and had lost every last bit of confidence that he’d worked so hard to build – we were all gutted.

He was in tears at the slightest knock and just wanted to come off the pitch the moment the game began. It was heart-breaking to watch as a Dad and a sobering reminder that your children’s happiness isn’t always in your control. A fact that as they grow up, becomes even harder to stomach.

Now, if you want to learn anything about life, I say go and stand on the side of an under 9’s football match.

I don’t care who you are, there is no emotion like watching your kid try to make their way in the world first-hand and playing sport has a funny way of shining a light on the sort of grown-ups, these children may one day become.

One major life lesson you learn is that it’s amazing what a difference a few kind words can do to make someone else’s day (or world for that matter).

The coaches and parents have their own kids in the team but all of them (without exception) still manage to put an extraordinary amount of effort into helping other people’s children. Slowly, they all started building Isaac back up, encouraging him, reminding him of the progress he made in the last year and more importantly, how to learn from your mistakes and to just keep playing.

They may be helping him play football on the day, but I think they’re the perfect example of the type of people you need in your life, full-stop. I’ve learned a lot about that little boy this year and as irony would have it, about myself as a dad in the process.

When you see your kids trying to learn by picking themselves up and trying again, you find yourself wishing that you had half their guts and determination. By all means, fool yourself into thinking you’re the one helping them, but chances are your children are reminding you exactly what to do when life flips you the finger.

Which brings me nicely onto the other side-line teaching and that’s perseverance.

With the help of the coaches and his mum, Isaac kept going out onto the pitch and gained his confidence back. Not only that, turns out, he’s good. Like, really-bloody good.

I wish I could pin-point the moment that he changed but I honestly can’t. All I can remember is we were in a game that you can only experience in Britain. Pissing it down with the sort of rain that hits you sideways and a pitch with puddles that would make a pot-bellied pig, pretty-fucking happy.

But there was Sharkbait, playing his heart out, with the coach’s words in his ear, skinning every player that came near him and not backing out of a single tackle. He genuinely bought tears to my eyes that day. Training, practice, courage and perseverance had paid off. He was a changed kid.

I also like to think that at just 8 years old, he learned the importance of backing yourself which brings me nicely onto my dance with Britain’s most notorious dragon earlier this year.

At 45, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do. Despite being bloody good at my job, I’ve considered a change in career more times than I can count (and if you raise this conversation when I’m drunk, trust me, you’re not going anywhere for a good few hours).

As a family, we’ve had times when our lifestyle has been very comfortable and on balance, I’ve had my share of good luck. We’ve also had plenty of times when we’ve been flat-on-our-arse-broke however and more recently than you’d think. I’ve ran two businesses, one is still punching, the other I crashed in truly spectacular fashion – So let’s just say that failure and I are good drinking buddies.

When I was asked to work with Peter Jones at the beginning of this year, shortly after closing my company, it was like being asked to play in the business equivalent of a Champions League final at a time when I was considering standing down altogether.

But when the day came where I began work with Peter, I knew exactly how Isaac felt on that swamp-of-a-pitch in Oxfordshire. I’ve honestly never been calmer walking into any situation of significance. I’d put my time in on the training ground, I’d learned from my losses and I was determined to play.

As I write this today, my work with Peter has contributed to the nomination for seven industry awards so far this year. As it turned out, I’m not ready to hang up my boots just yet.

Anyone that’s taken a few hits will tell you, games are won on the training ground or those moments in your head when you’ve got two choices. Do nothing or grab your circumstances by the virtual bollocks even when you feel like quitting.

And on that note, I’ll leave you with this.

The last game Sharkbait’s team played this season was up against one of the best clubs in the area and there wasn’t one single kid that didn’t play their heart out.

It was one of the toughest games I’ve seen them play and right at the beginning of the match, Isaac was at the centre of an important goal they conceded. The second it happened, my balls retracted into my stomach at break-neck speed…I was gutted for him.

As the other team’s celebrations dispersed, I noticed that Isaac had tears running down his face, but it was different this time – he was wiping them away. They were no longer tears of resignation but a mix of frustration and determination. He dried his eyes and went on to play some of the best football I’ve ever seen him produce.

At the break, he was visibly choked-up, so I asked him if he was ok to carry on. At first, he nodded quietly and then he looked up and said something that I won’t forget in a hurry.

‘Nothing’s going to get past me this time daddy, not today’.

You can learn a lot from your children if you’re smart enough to listen. Isaac wanted to give up, more times than I can count but he still put his boots on and he never stopped trying.

Whether you find yourself unexpectantly face-to-face with a Dragon or if the game isn’t going the way you’d hoped.

Never. Give. Up.

I got 99 problems but a pitch ain’t one ..

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I sat in a room with a big global IT vendor last December who I really like; in fact, everyone loves this brand, it’s been scientifically proven. Also as potential clients go for Dapster, you couldn’t order a more perfect example on Amazon Prime.

I’d been invited in because they had some partner marketing funds which were about to go South, and not geographically. In simple terms, unless that particular piece of the budget was allocated, those funds would be wiped out, history, written off, never to be seen again.

I almost cried and I haven’t done that out loud since I was 12 years old (if we’re excluding my vasectomy…but that was a rather messy end to a very healthy long-term partnership, so it doesn’t count). But sat there, watching all that opportunity put out to pasture because a decision couldn’t be made quickly enough was awful. To the extent that face-palming myself right there at the table, was the only appropriate professional response I could muster.

Admittedly it didn’t help that the budget being written off was an eye-watering amount of money. I mean there were comma’s and zero’s in abundance; it wouldn’t have looked out of place on one of those big ‘Children in Need’ cheques being flaunted by Pudsey.

What the MDF?

Now, since time immemorial, the use of marketing and distribution funds have tugged vicariously at the relationships between the Vendor and Channel Partners respectively. Who should get them in the first place? How were they being used? Were they being used at all? Why didn’t both parties see the return they expected? Oh, and my personal favourite, where did all the money go?

It’s a dysfunctional arrangement that should “in theory” work beautifully. The trouble is, like with any long-term relationship, it’s seen its fair share of challenges; some trust has been misplaced and both parties thinks the other one has let themselves go.

The Vendors have grown weary of throwing cash into campaigns that don’t yield a return, but the money still needs to be spent. So, budgets are typically allocated to the top tier partners, a little less to the ‘up-and-coming’ chaps and practically the square route of bugger all to the niche, often highly skilled partners.

The same cookie-cutter marketing material (seemingly designed to induce instant narcolepsy with their already propaganda-drunk audience) is passed on and budget is bestowed with the underlying fear that at least some of the money is going onto the Partners bottom line rather than on the campaign itself….although, I’m sure that’s never happened…ahem.

Then there are the Channel Partner’s, who are equally bored of being asked to sell a ‘red one’ on Monday and a ‘blue one’ on Tuesday. Mainly because there’s little-to-no opportunity to position their own credibility or value that they can bring to the table. So guess what? It’s unlikely they’re going to get excited by it, let alone execute it.

And then there are the Agencies, stuck somewhere in the middle, the poor b*stards.

If the previous campaign was deemed not to deliver, the existing Agency will be wheeled in, given crap machine-coffee, served with a side-dish of a virtual kicking. Then a new team will be invited in, the posh coffee and biscuits will be given ‘a one-time-only-airing’, just before they’re given the same criteria, with the same flaky outcomes, where they too can enjoy all the benefits of being set up to fail.

No matter how talented the Agency is, given the same gift-wrapped-sh*t sandwich of a model proven to fail, they too will get swapped out faster than a Leicester City Manager when the wheels inevitably fall off.

The reality is, I’m yet to sit in one of those meetings where this simple ‘pitch’ hasn’t solved the problem. Leaving me with just 99 to solve, which is a relief.

1) Love you long-term

Part of the MDF issue is that the engagement, the numbers, the success criteria – is all too short-lived and before you swear at the screen, I get it. There are monthly targets that need to be hit but rarely (and I do mean rarely) is the world solved in 4 weeks from scratch.

A marketing agency is like every other business. If they feel they’re on a stay of execution from day one, you’ll only get a half-arsed engagement and the MDF circle of sh*te will continue to flourish.

However, if you make the Agency integral to the strategy and measurement for both the Vendor and the partner(s) over a reasonable period of time, then you’re really in it together.

For a quantifiable result, each party needs to dispense with the foreplay, share their long-term numbers and personal KPI’s transparently and you’ll find very quickly, the behaviour, activity and quality of the output changes dramatically.

2) Shared risk changes everything

Everyone talks a good game in meetings but if you’re going to share risk and benefits, they need to make their way into a written agreement, then you either succeed or fail together. It’s the difference between saying you’ll stand shoulder-to-shoulder and actually doing it.

The Vendor, Partner(s) and the Agency all need to be working toward the same outcome. Just because you have different logos on your business card and walk around on different bits of carpet each day, doesn’t mean you can’t be a team (crikey, if I win an award for this blog, that bad-boy is going straight in the acceptance speech).

There will be those that say this approach is already alive, well and working but I can tell you it’s not. I’ve worked with a lot of big brands and sat in my share of meetings where budget is either p*ssed away or written off and I’m yet to decide which is worse to witness.

In so many other areas of technology, progressive collaboration is on the rise and archaic engagements are being unceremoniously wiped off the face of the agenda and rightly so.

Now more than ever, MDF needs to hop on the collaborative band wagon with the promise of a fresh approach from ‘everyone’ involved; That means a sensible long-term view with agreed shared risk and outcomes across the board, with no excuses and no place to hide.

Otherwise, you too can look forward to me crying real-man tears, coming soon to a meeting room near you.

No Sales please, we’re British

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Wannacry – If you work in the tech industry, it was the best of weeks, it was the worst of weeks, depending on how you view the world.

If my social feed was anything to go by however, if you work in either a Security Sales or Marketing role, you were probably the one group of people, slightly more demonised than those demanding a ransom.

Now don’t get me wrong, if you’re a CISO, I’m pretty certain last week was no picnic. Every social ping, email and phone call, was probably an unrelenting onslaught of sales people wanting to ‘help you’ (which I would imagine was about as productive as when my 7-year old offers to ‘help’ me cook).

One CISO that I know very well, within hours of the headline breaking, posted his disdain on Linkedin for the ‘cheap sales tactics’ used by vendors and partners alike and he conveyed it in his typical, dry, frankly brilliant, irreverent way.

Then I spotted the sheer number of sales and marketing people in the industry liking and sharing the post in stoic agreement.

Mmm, slice of irony anyone?

The next few days that followed were pretty similar. The average CISO’s post was (broadly speaking) a rinsed-and-repeated version of their dismay at the various sales tactics of the security firms and how (come the time of the next review etc), their decision would be swayed by the behaviour of those organisations during the Wannacry malaise.

Ok, that undoubtedly stacks up. We all know that some sales people have all the subtlety of Donald Trump at a W.I meeting, so I’m sure there’s substance there.

But this was the bit that bothered me – a number CISO’s heralded security companies that offered to ‘help, advise or consult’ as superior (and more professional) to those offering their product as a viable solution. One slightly paraphrased quote included “I will, in future strongly favour organisations that simply offered consultative advice, rather than use an event like Wannacry to position their product”.

Come on…really? I mean, really? We’re all grown-ups here, no? Whether you’re being offered advice, pre-sales assistance or heaven forbid, consultancy, I’ve got news for you sunshine, you are in their CRM system somewhere as part of a sales cycle. That’s not noble professionalism, that’s just window dressing.

Now don’t get me wrong, you may really like the supplier you’re dealing with, their acumen, their approach, their award-winning hair, you may even be one tentative step away from picking out curtains with them but I’ll save you the suspense, they’re still selling you something…Or you’re ‘buying it’, depending on which wanky business manual you read.
And I do get it – British people don’t like being ‘sold to’ but if you feel that strongly, I’m sure none of us will judge you when you also voluntarily unsubscribe for Amazon Prime, Netflix and demand daily written apologies from Google ads. It’s the principle after all.

I did in earnest, support the plight of many of my CISO friends because their argument carried in part, credible weight. If I’m being balanced, their comments were tame in contrast to organisations who sell security solutions for a living. Many spouting a cringe-worthy barrage of slurs citing the same variation of ‘bandwagons and ambulance chasing’ accusations aimed at their competitors. There’s no hypocrite, like a ‘Happy hypocrite’ after all.

Were there organisations out there offering answers to Wannacry who had ‘no real’ expertise that warranted the backlash? Probably.

Let’s be honest, they needed to take time out from reading up on what ‘GDPR really means’ months into their marketing campaign that positioned them as the ‘World leading authority’ on all things ‘Data’, ‘Europe’, ‘Acronym Compliancy’ and….um, really big fines.

But where does that leave the Security providers who were perfectly positioned to help?…Who already had the product and solution long before Wannacry even hit the headlines?

I know of at least one vendor who wanted to avoid drawing attention to the fact they have a world-class solution for Ransomware. You know, so they didn’t appear to be ‘selling’ during that week. That’s just insane.

What should these companies do? Say nothing…really? Is that how the business world should work? They shouldn’t offer a solution they have invested in heavily to solve this very issue to a market in clear need of its value? Give me a break.

Proving value requires relevancy, context, substance and timing and in instances where there is a clear need, can you really blame a company that offers the perfect solution, for trying to make themselves available to their prospects? I don’t think so.

No matter what your role, I can promise you the marketing department of the organisation you work for would do precisely the same thing if they saw an immediate requirement for a need they were well positioned to serve.

With all that said, if you do work in a sales or marketing role, I wouldn’t get too comfortable on that high horse if I were you. There is good reason why you p*ssed off the better part of the people that represent your perfect customers.

If you work in the world of security, you have the luxury of a very switched-on, informed audience – The majority of CISO’s that I know are forward-thinking, so they tend to get the hump if you point out to them what they already know.

Typically, they look to work with progressive companies that encourage a proactive, diverse approach to security – you know, the sort that takes into account the increasing sophistication of their adversaries ‘an all.

So, if the ‘Wannacry headline’, was the first time they knew something of you, then that’s a fairly poor reflection on your marketing and business in general. I would imagine this condition existed in your organisation, long before this particular strain of sh*t hit the fan, so don’t be too hard on yourself. We can’t all be good at everything.

I’d also think twice before openly slamming your competition on a public forum for capitalising on a compelling event relevant for the market you’re all looking to satisfy.

The poor behaviour that you’re looking to shine a big, uncompromising light on in full view of your customers and peers, could well transpire to be your very own.

And if you’re a CISO, then I’m afraid you need to reconcile yourself with the fact that security companies will look to work with you. Some will get their approach just right, others will do it poorly but no matter how they dress it, they’re a business and if you stifle their ability to make themselves available to you, then I’m afraid, they won’t be around for very much longer.

Businesses need to make money to survive and cyber security is no exception. Given we’re all faced with an increasingly sophisticated adversary, it makes sense to let those that can offer a meaningful solution, to make themselves known.