The ridiculously happy little chap on the left with his coach is my youngest boy, Isaac (AKA Sharkbait) and the look that you see on his face is reserved for three types of people in his life. Those that either teach football, feed him Nutella or buy him V-Bucks.
On the right, is Peter Jones of Dragons Den, trying his absolute best to make sense of whatever shite was leaving my mouth at that given moment. You could be forgiven for questioning where the link between the two may lie.
So, the first one is easy. I love being a Dad, even on the days when my face clearly disagrees. I’ve always loved the beautiful simplicity of what makes children happy and their absolute intolerance for anything that makes them sad. You could argue, I’m still one of them but with the beard of an evil overlord.
As they start to venture out into the world, the more they experience, they inevitably encounter the first of life’s ‘knocks and set-backs’ and nobody can prepare you for that shit.
Earlier this year, Sharkbait won ‘Most Improved Player’ for his team and he thoroughly deserved it. He went from being too shy to even go onto the pitch, to someone who put his absolute guts into every chance he was given. It was without doubt, one of my proudest moments as a Dad and if I’m being honest, I almost dry-humped Lee, the Head Coach’s leg when he announced his name.
The summer came and went, the next season arrived, and without any warning signs, my little boy just crashed. He quite literally disappeared straight back into his shell. Nobody knew why, least of all him or me. He just regressed and had lost every last bit of confidence that he’d worked so hard to build – we were all gutted.
He was in tears at the slightest knock and just wanted to come off the pitch the moment the game began. It was heart-breaking to watch as a Dad and a sobering reminder that your children’s happiness isn’t always in your control. A fact that as they grow up, becomes even harder to stomach.
Now, if you want to learn anything about life, I say go and stand on the side of an under 9’s football match.
I don’t care who you are, there is no emotion like watching your kid try to make their way in the world first-hand and playing sport has a funny way of shining a light on the sort of grown-ups, these children may one day become.
One major life lesson you learn is that it’s amazing what a difference a few kind words can do to make someone else’s day (or world for that matter).
The coaches and parents have their own kids in the team but all of them (without exception) still manage to put an extraordinary amount of effort into helping other people’s children.
Slowly, they all started building Isaac back up, encouraging him, reminding him of the progress he made in the last year and more importantly, how to learn from your mistakes and to just keep playing.
They may be helping him play football on the day, but I think they’re the perfect example of the type of people you need in your life, full-stop. I’ve learned a lot about that little boy this year and as irony would have it, about myself as a dad in the process.
When you see your kids trying to learn by picking themselves up and trying again, you find yourself wishing that you had half their guts and determination. By all means, fool yourself into thinking you’re the one helping them, but chances are your children are reminding you exactly what to do when life flips you the finger.
Which brings me nicely onto the other side-line teaching and that’s perseverance.
With the help of the coaches and his mum, Isaac kept going out onto the pitch and gained his confidence back. Not only that, turns out, he’s good. Like, really-bloody good.
I wish I could pin-point the moment that he changed but I honestly can’t. All I can remember is we were in a game that you can only experience in Britain. Pissing it down with the sort of rain that hits you sideways and a pitch with puddles that would make a pot-bellied pig, pretty-fucking happy.
But there was Sharkbait, playing his heart out, with the coach’s words in his ear, skinning every player that came near him and not backing out of a single tackle. He genuinely bought tears to my eyes that day. Training, practice, courage and perseverance had paid off. He was a changed kid.
I also like to think that at just 8 years old, he learned the importance of backing yourselfwhich brings me nicely onto my dance with Britain’s most notorious dragon earlier this year.
At 45, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do. Despite being bloody good at my job, I’ve considered a change in career more times than I can count (and if you raise this conversation when I’m drunk, trust me, you’re not going anywhere for a good few hours).
As a family, we’ve had times when our lifestyle has been very comfortable and on balance, I’ve had my share of good luck. We’ve also had plenty of times when we’ve been flat-on- our-arse-broke however and more recently than you’d think. I’ve ran two businesses, one is still punching, the other I crashed in truly spectacular fashion - So let’s just say that failure and I are good drinking buddies.
When I was asked to work with Peter Jones at the beginning of this year, shortly after closing my company, it was like being asked to play in the business equivalent of a Champions League final at a time when I was considering standing down altogether.
But when the day came where I began work with Peter, I knew exactly how Isaac felt on that swamp-of-a-pitch in Oxfordshire. I’ve honestly never been calmer walking into any situation of significance. I’d put my time in on the training ground, I’d learned from my losses and I was determined to play.
As I write this today, my work with Peter has contributed to the nomination for seven
industry awards so far this year. As it turned out, I’m not ready to hang up my boots just yet.
Anyone that’s taken a few hits will tell you, games are won on the training ground or those moments in your head when you’ve got two choices. Do nothing or grab your circumstances by the virtual bollocks even when you feel like quitting.
And on that note, I’ll leave you with this.
The last game Sharkbait’s team played this season was up against one of the best clubs in the area and there wasn’t one single kid that didn’t play their heart out.
It was one of the toughest games I’ve seen them play and right at the beginning of the match, Isaac was at the centre of an important goal they conceded. The second it happened, my balls retracted into my stomach at break-neck speed…I was gutted for him.
As the other team’s celebrations dispersed, I noticed that Isaac had tears running down his face, but it was different this time - he was wiping them away. They were no longer tears of resignation but a mix of frustration and determination. He dried his eyes and went on to play some of the best football I’ve ever seen him produce.
At the break, he was visibly choked-up, so I asked him if he was ok to carry on. At first, he nodded quietly and then he looked up and said something that I won’t forget in a hurry.
‘Nothing’s going to get past me this time daddy, not today’.
You can learn a lot from your children if you’re smart enough to listen. Isaac wanted to give up, more times than I can count but he still put his boots on and he never stopped trying.
Whether you find yourself unexpectantly face-to-face with a Dragon or if the game isn’t going the way you’d hoped.
Never. Give. Up.
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